Arizona

[Aaron Burr]

Fug this state. I'm out. I'm moving to Arizona and running for something, maybe the Senate, maybe Comptroller or Lieutenant Governor.

The point is, I've had it with the %@$#!%@&^&!@ ^^!@%$@&^@*ing brainwashed %@(^$*! running this State.

California appears poised to be first to ban power-guzzling big-screen TVs -- latimes.com

I don't even watch T.V. and this article &%$@#'s me off.

What next? Banning big cars that consume more gas? &#@% YOU!

So I called North American (the moving company) today and they said they can help a brother out. 4K no questions asked. See? When you have money, things get done. The jackasses in Sacramento will discover this when they run out of money...again. Only this time, I'm not going to be around to bail them out.

I am leaving one of my lawyers behind to SUE THE PANTS OFF of the legislature, pretty much every week. (If you stupid Libs had gotten behind us on the Tort reform deal, none of this would be happening.) I'm just going to clog the courts with frivolous lawsuits until the State coffers run dry.

Also, I'm going to litter like a mofo before I leave and I plan on dumping the toilet tank in the King Air over Sacramento.


However, everyone knows I'm a remarkably lazy fellow so I'll most likely have forgotten all about this in the morning.

[Spirit of Ronald Reagan]

Arnold said "you'd be back".

[Aaron Burr]

Wait...what? When the Hell did I write this? Hmmm. I should probably call North American and see if I reserved a truck. I would hate to come home next week and find some jackass measuring my windows for drapes....again.

[Spirit of Ronald Reagan]

I'm guessing during a liquor induced coma. That's usually when you write your best work.

[Aaron Burr]

Then I guess I'm lucky I'm hammered.

So you know that next year in Cali you'll have to be registered and fingerprinted to buy ammunition don't you? It's true. But it must be O.K. because the person who signed this bill into law is a Republican.

Sigh. It's just so sad that the G.O.P. is going the way of the Do Do. They provided such a legitimate looking backdrop for the few nefarious Evil Conservative candidates that were able to worm their way through the famed Republican vetting process. Ahem.

The point is, this state sucks Eskimo balls. I'm totally serious. Where I live is pretty righteous except this is where Lynn Woolsey comes from. And that other nutty skirt... Anyway, the people are nice but the surrounding area, from San Diego to right up around Eureka sucks. So I'm leaving.

At some point I will most likely inform Mrs. Burr and then it's game on.

[Spirit of Ronald Reagan]

I agree your state a total mess. Time to start buying ammo through the mail or learn to reload it yourself, which I'm sure both will become illegal soon also. Say, don't you still have that earthquake machine you borrower from **** Cheney and never gave back? Thinking you could find a couple areas to get rid of easily without taking out too many normal people. The thing has a decent rate so you should be able to at least take out berkley.

[Dont tread on me]

I must ask why Arizona? I mean other then your bid for the a$$hats seat in the senate. I lived in Tucson for 4 years in the early 80's its a nice place for a desert.

[Aaron Burr]

Because Arizona has this open elections deal where anybody can run for anything. I saw the government ad in the phone book. See, sometime last month I woke up in that State and naturally opened up the phone book by the bed to figure out where the Hell I was.

Anyway, supposedly it has some mountains too so if I decide to move there as opposed to say...well, anywhere...I'll just throw some money at a Realtor and declare residency. But seriously. I can't raise Aaron Jr. in this meshugana State. I'd move to Texas tomorrow but Mrs. Burr is an intemperate redhead with a conceal and carry permit and has pretty much put the kibosh on that idea. See, she's a proud daughter of the Old Dominion State and has her preferences.

Oh and I'm working on that whole public private deal involving oil speculation and junk.

But if anybody else knows about a State ripe for exploitation I'm all ears...damn, even subconsciously I'm rippin' on the Anti-Christ.

Also, I've already stated my intended goals of littering like a mo-fo and dumping the waste tanks in the King Air over Sacramento before I leave. Further, the gradual advancement of high magnitude earthquakes along the pacific ring of fire leads me to believe that sooner rather than later a large temblor will pretty much take care of Berkley.

Oh all right. I'm fuggin' lazy and never unfolded the whole map of America so my choices were limited to Washington(gay) Oregon(gayer) Nevada(sleazy) and Arizona(bland). Maybe Idaho was in there too, I forget. But it's shaped funny.

[Aaron Burr]

I wish someone would at least occasionally try to talk me out of some of my more impetuous decisions...or at least feign some ridicule every other Tuesday.

Don't get me wrong, this place is fabulous. I'm up in the mountains, clean air, beautifull views, nice, God fearing citizens.....it's enough to drive me peptic.

Who am I supposed to terrorize? How can I humiliate stoopid Libs when I can't find any? Sigh. Now I know how Patton felt after W.W.II.

Anyway, I'm thinking about opening a Hot Rod shop. It'll give me something to do untill election season rolls around.

[Dont tread on me]

What part of Arizona? I would have considered the job of persuading you to stay but I would not have done a very good job I've lived in both states and know how ridiculous California can be if it wasn't for the weather I don't believe I would give it a second thought. I do think you might( aside from the east coast) have trouble finding a more liberal minded bunch to taunt and make fun of.